Full Disclosure: A Champion is Born
It was 2007. Jessica “Jess Annie” Donen, a junior at Joseph Wolinsky Collegiate in chilly Winnipeg, Manitoba, had just celebrated her Sweet 16. She was a nice person, but like many teenagers she was content to coast through life. This all changed, thanks to a man called Yeezy.
That September, Kanye West released Graduation, his third studio album, to critical acclaim. It also hooked Jess Annie. She would bump “Flashing Lights” whenever she drove through the Winnipeg Skywalk. She would blast “Stronger” while bench-pressing 225 lbs with her best friend, Lindsay Feuer. There was one song in particular, however, that really spoke to her – “Champion.”
Since the release of that fateful album, Jess was driven to become a true champion. However, despite her efforts, she constantly fell short in high school soccer and basketball leagues. She languished in University of Manitoba intramurals, longing to taste victory.
In 2013, she was accepted to Queen’s Law. While many prospective law students have dreams of practicing commercial or criminal law, Jess only had one goal when she got to Kingston – to become a champion. In November 2014, her goal was realized.
Jess Annie became part of Full Disclosure, a ragtag bunch made up of members from a previous Queen’s Law ultimate frisbee team and a couple of newcomers. The ‘Losures instantly clicked with one another, strolling through the regular season undefeated and largely unchallenged.
Highlights of the regular season include Rachel “Floydsy” Floyd doing her best impression of Willis Reed and playing on one leg, Erik “Uncle Rick” Tammsalu running the length of the field and making a sliding touchdown catch for the ages, and Emma “Ringer” Cotman nearly getting run over by a teammate while having a beautiful, life-changing moment with said teammate. Cotman would never play again.
“The regular season was a breeze, but it was tough getting amped up for games and then having to sit out because I didn’t have a student card for a lot of the games. But by gum, I got me a new student card because I wanted to win this one for Jess Annie,” David “King of the Castle” Bushuev claimed.
The night before the ‘Losures’ final match, Jess Annie was visited in a dream by Winnie the Pooh and (probable) Winnipeg resident, Christopher Robin. He moaned, “Jess Annie, this game is the biggest thing to happen to Winnipeg since the return of the Jets. If you lose, you’re not just letting me down; you’re letting your whole city down, too.”
Fueled by Christopher Robin’s challenge, the ‘Losures marched into the finals to face an imposing and combative team of undergrad students, who will be henceforth referred to as Globo Gym. The opponents had more Under Armour swag. They used many words that were not grandma-appropriate. They had one guy in particular who was really tall, but overall was a nice guy.
The ‘Losures jumped out to a quick 1-0 lead, but the dreaded Globo Gym scored twice to head into the locker room (an elevator to an underground parking lot) with the lead at halftime.
Despite a passionate halftime speech by team captain Chris “Best Player on the Team” Savo, the ‘Losures and Globo Gym were locked in a defensive battle. The outlook seemed grim, but the ‘Losures battled on. Finally, Vicky “Bishop” Strachan tied the game on a short pass, keeping the spectre of defeat at bay. In the last minute of play, the ‘Losures made their way downfield and scored on a gorgeous pass from Savo to Katie “The Hero” Lee. The referee called the match seconds later, giving the ‘Losures the championship.
Needless to say, Globo Gym was furious at the loss. One player in particular lashed out at Jess “Best Orientation Partner” Firestone and Joey “I Really Like Levon by Elton John” Howell, calling into question their plans for the evening and their cooking of dry chicken. But as Firestone and Howell taught Globo Gym, you can’t bring a champ down. Finally, Jess Annie and the rest of the ‘Losures were not losers. They were champions.
Dave Rodgers (2L) is a contributor to Juris Diction.