20 1L Problems
- Microsoft Word doesn’t recognize “Hansard” (or almost anything else you’re going to type in your notes) as a legitimate word. This may be the only time you actually look forward to 2L.
- Realizing Lionel Hutz is your spirit animal.
- Thinking that Latin sounds intellectual for the first two weeks of law school and then despising its italicized use in court decisions. The only time to think in a dead language should be when you are in the grave.
- Realizing that Black’s Legal Dictionary may be a solid investment halfway through a case that almost exclusively uses Latin in its ratio decidendi, obiter dicta, and the summary of facts. Why we continue to use compons mentis, contra bonos mores, and de novo in cases from the late 20th century is beyond any reasoning.
- Lord Denning. F**k that cricket club and the nuisance they so clearly caused.
- No longer being able to sit through any so-called ‘legal thriller’ in a movie theater without subjecting yourself to a sharp critique of the legalese or courtroom behaviour. There is a time and a place for the prosecution to admit evidence in a criminal trial; we usually call it discovery. P.S. If this ruins Matthew McConaughey or any legal film whose setting is the American South, then sorry-I’m not sorry.
- Realizing that your non-law friends are never going to understand half of what you do, and next to nothing that you say to your law friends.
- Coming into school looking to make money or save the world, and then realizing you just want to article.
- Friday morning classes. The thought that Thursday Smokers are a Darwinian attempt to alleviate the bell curve grows more certain with every passing week.
- ‘Moderating’ your drinking when a prof comes to a social and you have class with them the next morning. As long as they don’t see your 40, it’s corpus delicti, right?
- Undergrads in Lederman, a.k.a. SNAILS (students not actually in law school). We have a building, our intent is manifested enough by having it named the Lederman Law Library. If you want to study somewhere in complete silence, try literally anywhere else.
- Watching Suits and realizing how misleading it is about the glamour of law.
- Thinking that if How I Met Your Mother hadn’t collapsed by Season 7 it might be acceptable to use “lawyered” as a catchphrase with your law friends.
- Scaring yourself by realizing that people are actually going to depend on you for legal advice.
- Thinking “I got into law school?” halfway through being lost in your small section discussion.
- Dealing with angry friends and family who don’t accept “it depends” as a valid explanation for their legal problems and inquiries.
- Trying to understand why anyone would sue over a fence leaning ¾ of an inch onto their land. De minimis, please!
- Thinking about a test for remoteness whenever you wonder who’s responsible for ruining your life.
- Realizing you will never be able to look at peppercorns without thinking about consideration.
- Realizing that this will be the easiest part of your legal career.
James Omran (1L) is a contributor to Juris Diction.
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